Monday, February 13, 2012

Bad moments do not mean you are a bad Mom

Calleigh and I have such personality clashes...and it is because we have the same personality. Persistant, strong-willed, and they are the same.....both of us! I had this same issue with my dad when I was younger. Of course, as I got older(like college) we did not fight as much and we "grew out" of it. I love my dad, always have and always will, but we have the same personality so more times than I would like to admit we fought. Over the silliest things. Mostly homework and boyfriends, but now that I look back, I realize that if we would have put some of that time into not fighting life would have been so much easier. That is the approach I am TRYING to take with my girls. Calleigh and I fight more than her and Andrew. And I know it is for the same reason, we are just alike. Sometimes I just walk away and let Andrew take care of whatever issue is melt-down worthy.....and that works. Other times we just start laughing at each other, and sometimes we both have yelling, crying fights....both of us crying and yelling. Then I have that moment of "I am such a bad mom" and "Why are we doing this" and I always feel bad when it is over. And she is only 3(almost 4) so I know we have more of this ahead of us. Sometimes I just feel like a bad Mom like the time it was book order day and I forgot to bring it with us(luckily, the let me bring it the next day). Sometimes we fight over coat sleeves, what pajamas that we are wearing that night, and about brushing teeth. Chances are that Addie will be the same too. Payback says my dad. But today, a friend posted this and I want to share it. I am not a bad mom. I love those girls with all that I have. I prayed for them and God blessed me so much! But maybe there is someone else out there who needs this like I did.


Bad Moments Don’t Make Bad Moms
Lysa TerKeurst


“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:4-5 (NIV)

Do you ever feel like the ping pong ball in a heated match bouncing between feeling like a good mom to a bad mom?

I volunteer to keep the class guinea pig over spring break much to my daughter’s delight. After all, we have a hamster we adore so we’re highly qualified… GOOD MOM!

Two weeks before spring break our pet hamster has an accident and makes an early exit from this world. I get a letter from the principal informing me after hearing about our unfortunate hamster situation, we are unfit class guinea pig babysitters… BAD MOM!

I delight the teacher by showing up on time to read to the class… GOOD MOM!

That same day I get an e-mail from a teacher listing three parents who haven’t turned in permission slips and I’m on the list for all the world to see… BAD MOM!

I make sure my kids pack something healthy for lunch… GOOD MOM!

The schedule falls apart and I feed them sugary cereal for dinner… BAD MOM!

I so desperately want to be a good mom. And sometimes I feel like I am, when life is clicking along with good attitudes, healthy hamsters, turned in permission slips, and a pot roast for dinner. But let’s be honest. The days where everything turns out right and there’s a pot roast on the table are sometimes few and far between. And I find myself feeling like a failure. Have you ever been there?

The other day I was processing these things with my friend, Renee, when a strange theme seemed to arise. I just started laughing. I told Renee that many of my days tell the same story… I was on the verge of a breakdown and then I spent some time with Jesus and He made things better.

Renee quipped back, “Well, isn’t that where most of us live?”

Not that we’re on the edge of a breakdown, but we live in a place of utter dependence on God. I know I live in constant need of His love, encouragement, wisdom, perspective, strength, patience and grace.

Anything I do right as a mom is because of my constant dialogs with God. I’ve learned to talk with Him in honest plain language and say things like, “Hey God, I feel like a bad mom because I snapped at my kids. But my circumstances don’t define me, right? You do. So, I’m receiving Your grace and letting go of those feelings pulling me down. Please help me.”

I must remember the truth of today’s promise in Ephesians 2:4-5, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”

God’s grace is always willing to step in. Not that it excuses me from being more patient, organized or responsible. But it reminds me, “Lysa, you are doing better than you think you are. My love for you is great! Stop bouncing from feeling good to bad to good to bad. In the good times, rejoice and thank Me. In the not so good times, call out to Me quickly.”

With God we’re never a bad mom. We might be having a bad moment… or two… or seventeen. But a few bad moments do not define us.

God’s grace is there to cover us. Teach us. And even in the middle of a bad moment, interrupt us, redirect us and change me.

Forgiveness is there.

Love is there.

A second chance is there. And another one after that.

You are a good mom my friend…even if, like me, you’ve had a few bad moments… you are the exact mom God knew these children needed. Let’s live in that truth today.

And who cares if we are labeled unfit to watch the class guinea pig? As I stepped back from the situation I realized that saved us from some undue stress anyhow. Smiles.

Dear Lord, I know that only You can fill me. I am thankful Your grace is always there to cover me, especially on my tough mom days. Help me to stop bouncing from feeling good to bad. Teach me, redirect me and change me today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.


I am thankful that God gives us second chances and forgives us for bad moments.

Here it to admitting my faults and being forgiven, not fighting(as much, because realistically, I can not guarantee we will never fight) and trying my best to be better than I am. Not only a better mom, but a better wife, co-worker, employee, child, and example.

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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Blessed

Scrapbooking at WiddlyTinks.com
Photo Tinks by WiddlyTinks.com


As I was uploading some pictures yesterday I realized just how lucky I am. I have a wonderful husband who loves me so much and two of the sweetest girls I could ever imagine. I love them so much and wonder how I got so lucky.....God is so amazing and beside giving me salvation he has blessed me with these wonderful people who I can say are MY family! I love them so much and just wanted to show you my family of 4......Blessed is a word that does not even begin to describe how lucky I am and how I am feeling!

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Monday, February 6, 2012

All she wants to do is dance.......

Calleigh started dance classes in September.....and she loves them! Recently, her dance class danced at a local Boy's Varsity Basketball game during half time.........I am planning on posting the video I took later today or tomorrow, but here is a little sneak peak of a few pictures! Enjoy!


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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

David Nail - Let It Rain

As you may have noticed, I have a new blog design......cute, huh? Jenissa over at Once Upon a Blog designed it for me.......I love it!

Over the last couple of years I have began to like singer David Nail. He is great. Some songs you may know are "Red Light" and "Let it rain". Here is the video to let it rain......enjoy!



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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Christmas Recap and Much more

Well, Christmas has come and gone once again and things are so busy with us.....does it ever slow down? The girls both had a wonderful Christmas! As did Mommy and Daddy. Calleigh got an American girl doll, a Leap Pad, some clothes, and new dance outfit and much more! Addie got some dolls, clothes, and an American Girl bitty baby! They both also got some new decorations for their rooms. Andrew and I got a Wii, money, and clothes. I bought him a new jacket and he got me a Kindle Fire and I AM IN LOVE WITH IT!!!!


My blog is going through a little construction and I am so excited about the changes that are coming......I have seen a sneak peek and I love it! Jenissa is doing a great job and I can not wait to share it with all of you!


For 2012 Andrew and I have started a few things(not resolutions so much) and they are going well. We have started a new budget and hopefully by 2016 we will have all of our debt cleared....some student loans included. All we should be paying by then will be our monthly bills and that will be glorious. We are going to start saving for a new truck for him and also save for our future home! And that makes me super happy. We have a few more updates that we would like to do to our house, then live in it for 5-7 more years and then build and make the move and that's GREAT news! We have also been eating our meals at the table as a family. I know that does not sound like something we should just now be doing, however, Calleigh has a little table and chairs she like to eat at and Andrew and I just always ate in the living room. We decided that we both always ate at the table when we were younger and we wanted to start doing that with the girls. We have also been playing Wii together as a family almost every night and it is a fun way for us to all spend some quality time together. Andrew and I are going to try to go on a date every month....just the two of us......so let's pray that these things continue to happen!


I have also started reading a lot more(now that I have the Kindle) like I used to. I have also began to lose some weight and I would like to continue to do that.


Life is good at the Wibbeler household........SUPER BUSY, but good! I hope to post some pictures of my sweet girls soon!



Thursday, December 15, 2011

Merry Christmas!!!

So, I have not been on here much but here a few updates. On December 1, Addie learned to sit up unassisted and roll from her belly to her back. She went the get her shots and to the doctor today for her 6 month well baby checkup. She weights 19.09 pounds, is 27 inches long, and her head circumference is 17 inches. She is doing great! Just perfect!


My blog is under construction as Jennisa at Once Upon a Blog is working to make it beautiful and add both of my girls to it, not just one.

We wanted to take time to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Want some inspiration?

As Andrew and I were watching TV the other day, we once again saw this speech by Jimmy V. If you don't know who he is, go to www.jimmyv.org and check him out. He was an amazing man. We were watching the speech and it was so inspirational.It is long, but so worht it. From a man who knew he was going to die. Wow. Here it is:


Thank you, Thank you very much. Thank you. That’s the lowest I’ve ever seen Dick Vitale since the owner of the Detroit Pistons called him in and told him he should go into broadcasting.



The I can’t tell you what an honor it is, to even be mentioned in the same breath with Arthur Ashe. This is something I certainly will treasure forever. But, as it was said on the tape, and I also don’t have one of those things going with the cue cards, so I’m going to speak longer than anybody else has spoken tonight. That’s the way it goes. Time is very precious to me. I don’t know how much I have left and I have some things that I would like to say. Hopefully, at the end, I will have said something that will be important to other people too.



But, I can’t help it. Now I’m fighting cancer, everybody knows that. People ask me all the time about how you go through your life and how’s your day, and nothing is changed for me. As Dick said, I’m a very emotional and passionate man. I can’t help it. That’s being the son of Rocco and Angelina Valvano. It comes with the territory. We hug, we kiss, we love. When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it’s the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.


I rode on the plane up today with Mike Krzyzewski, my good friend and wonderful coach. People don’t realize he’s ten times a better person than he is a coach, and we know he’s a great coach. He’s meant a lot to me in these last five or six months with my battle. But when I look at Mike, I think, we competed against each other as players. I coached against him for fifteen years, and I always have to think about what’s important in life to me are these three things. Where you started, where you are and where you’re going to be. Those are the three things that I try to do every day. When I think about getting up and giving a speech, I can’t help it. I have to remember the first speech I ever gave.



I was coaching at Rutgers University, that was my first job, oh that’s wonderful (reaction to applause), and I was the freshman coach. That’s when freshmen played on freshman teams, and I was so fired up about my first job. I see Lou Holtz here. Coach Holtz, who doesn’t like the very first job you had? The very first time you stood in the locker room to give a pep talk. That’s a special place, the locker room, for a coach to give a talk. So my idol as a coach was Vince Lombardi, and I read this book called “Commitment To Excellence” by Vince Lombardi. And in the book, Lombardi talked about the fist time he spoke before his Green Bay Packers team in the locker room, and they were perennial losers. I’m reading this and Lombardi said he was thinking should it be a long talk, or a short talk? But he wanted it to be emotional, so it would be brief. So here’s what I did. Normally you get in the locker room, I don’t know, twenty-five minutes, a half hour before the team takes the field, you do your little x and o’s, and then you give the great Knute Rockne talk. We all do. Speech number eight-four. You pull them right out, you get ready. You get your squad ready. Well, this is the first one I ever gave and I read this thing. Lombardi, what he said was he didn’t go in, he waited. His team wondering, where is he? Where is this great coach? He’s not there. Ten minutes he’s still not there. Three minutes before they could take the field Lombardi comes in, bangs the door open, and I think you all remember what great presence he had, great presence. He walked in and he walked back and forth, like this, just walked, staring at the players. He said, “All eyes on me.” I’m reading this in this book. I’m getting this picture of Lombardi before his first game and he said “Gentlemen, we will be successful this year, if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers.” They knocked the walls down and the rest was history. I said, that’s beautiful. I’m going to do that. Your family, your religion and Rutgers basketball. That’s it. I had it. Listen, I’m twenty-one years old. The kids I’m coaching are nineteen, and I’m going to be the greatest coach in the world, the next Lombardi. I’m practicing outside of the locker room and the managers tell me you got to go in. Not yet, not yet, family, religion, Rutgers Basketball. All eyes on me. I got it, I got it. Then finally he said, three minutes, I said fine. True story. I go to knock the doors open just like Lombardi. Boom! They don’t open. I almost broke my arm. Now I was down, the players were looking. Help the coach out, help him out. Now I did like Lombardi, I walked back and forth, and I was going like that with my arm getting the feeling back in it. Finally I said, “Gentlemen, all eyes on me.” These kids wanted to play, they’re nineteen. “Let’s go,” I said. “Gentlemen, we’ll be successful this year if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers,” I told them. I did that. I remember that. I remember where I came from.



It’s so important to know where you are. I know where I am right now. How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. You have to be willing to work for it.



I talked about my family, my family’s so important. People think I have courage. The courage in my family are my wife Pam, my three daughters, here, Nicole, Jamie, LeeAnn, my mom, who’s right here too. That screen is flashing up there thirty seconds like I care about that screen right now, huh? I got tumors all over my body. I’m worried about some guy in the back going thirty seconds? You got a lot, hey va fa napoli, buddy. You got a lot.
I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you’re emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm,” to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality.



Now I look at where I am now and I know what I want to do. What I would like to be able to do is spend whatever time I have left and to give, and maybe, some hope to others. Arthur Ashe Foundation is a wonderful thing, and AIDS, the amount of money pouring in for AIDS is not enough, but is significant. But if I told you it’s ten times the amount that goes in for cancer research. I also told you that five hundred thousand people will die this year of cancer. I also tell you that one in every four will be afflicted with this disease, and yet somehow, we seem to have put it in a little bit of the background. I want to bring it back on the front table. We need your help. I need your help. We need money for research. It may not save my life. It may save my children’s lives. It may save someone you love. And ESPN has been so kind to support me in this endeavor and allow me to announce tonight, that with ESPN’s support, which means what? Their money and their dollars and they’re helping me-we are starting the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. And its motto is “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.” That’s what I’m going to try to do every minute that I have left. I will thank God for the day and the moment I have. If you see me, smile and give me a hug. That’s important to me too. But try if you can to support, whether it’s AIDS or the cancer foundation, so that someone else might survive, might prosper and might actually be cured of this dreaded disease. I can’t thank ESPN enough for allowing this to happen. I’m going to work as hard as I can for cancer research and hopefully, maybe, we’ll have some cures and some breakthroughs. I’d like to think, I’m going to fight my brains out to be back here again next year for the Arthur Ashe recipient. I want to give it next year!


I know, I gotta go, I gotta go, and I got one last thing and I said it before, and I want to say it again. Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.



I thank you and God bless you all.


As I re-read it, I realize what courage that took and how strong he really was. I looked more into him and he really was an amazing person. How can you not be inspired by that?