Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A dream and a memory

Last night I had a dream. This dream was not like any other. Let me start from the beginning. When I was 11 years old, my uncle was brutally murdered which was devastating for me. We were very close, and I had just lost my grandmother the year before, someone else I was very close to. So, I was lost and not understanding why or how this happened. This is still something I question each and every day, but I know that God had a reason and plan. He had a reason he needed my Uncle, and even though I do not know what that is, I trust that God is faithful to us, so we have to be faithful to him as well.

There were only 4 people in my dream: Calleigh, my Uncle, myself, and Andrew's Aunt Beth, whom I am also close with. It all started with a party for me at my parents house. We were down in a little valley and Beth and I walked up to the top of the hill. All of the sudden we saw a tornado coming and us and everyone ran. My Uncle grabbed my arm as I tried to go to the house and get Calleigh who was sleeping and he would not let me. He told me that if I went that way Calleigh would not have a mommy because the tornado would get me. So we ran across the street to a house(which is not there FYI). We hung out in the basement with a mom, dad and baby. All I could think about was Calleigh. The tornado passed and my Uncle and I were off to get Calleigh. Then I woke up.

It was just so vivid and I remember it still right now as clear as can be. It was the last thing I dreamed and I can not stop thinking about it. I even remember what he was wearing, which is what he always wore. The thing that gets me is that I have not dreamed about him in a long. long time. He never got to meet Calleigh since I was 11 when he passed away. And I have been trying to figure out what this dream meant or what it was about. I have a set of letters he wrote me once and every now and then I read them. Just to remember the good times. I do miss him so much. But today I am left wondering what this was about and what it meant?

As I think about my uncle, I also think about my mamaw, who would have loved Calleigh so very much. I wish she could have met her. I think about my papaw, who I never got to meet because he passed away 3 years before I was born. I think about my grandpa who passed away my freshman year in college. He would have spoiled her rotten! And I think about Andrew's grandma. She passed away at a nursing home during my baby shower; Just one and a half short months before Calleigh made her debut in this world. But it comforts me to know that they got to meet her first. They saw he first. They held her and played with her first. And they knew the exact day God was going to send her down to us. And I know in my heart they are proud of her and of us. It gives me a silent peace to know they had her for a while and now they are watching down on her and protecting her as her guardian angels.

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